commiserating with the Facebook newbies

The strange and happy crew that makes up my sister’s world in Miami recently migrated, en masse, to Facebook.

For a brief period of like three days, every time I logged into Facebook, I would find 2 or 3 friends requests.  And then, just as suddenly as the frenzy began, it ended. What a relief.

Anyway, shortly after that episode, it seems like every update included a public confession that Facebook is crack, and addictive, bla bla bla. You either stay overwhelmingly addicted to the monster, or you master it and check in once every day or two. I’m sorry for those of you who hate me right now for mastering it. I won’t speak of my Plurk addiction just in case your tiny little brains can’t handle the real drug. Oh yes, I am a pusher.

So in my random and often daily blog reading, I came across this blog post about the Facebook is crack addiction. Boys and girls, Bonnie speaks big truths here. It is not for the faint of heart. Read it and weep. You will see yourself in her pain. Remember that admitting the addiction is the first step towards recovery.

I owe my own recovery to the sincere and disdainful mockery and intervention of my children, who pointed out in disgust that Facebook was for college kids, and that I was gross and weird for participating. It irks them that real adults use it for business and pleasure.

To add insult to injury, they won’t even be my friends.

I don’t like other people’s children

That’s a bit of a problem when you’re asked to work with them.

After having the taser denied, I requested a bazooka to launch water balloons, but the youth minister laughed and thought I was kidding. I caught 5 kids walking away from the “main event” tonight. Most likely they weren’t going to do anything evil and immoral. Probably, they were more interested in whatever self-absorbing teenaged-angst-driven foolishness they had going on than whatever the adults had planned for them.

Nevertheless, they weren’t getting past me tonight. Because I enjoy being a psychotic old bat.

Sacurritee! ! !

That is not traffic

insanity...

It is the long and winding road (not from the Beatles) that leads to the gas station in the distance.

This is the craziest, most panic-stricken city I’ve ever lived in. What is wrong with folks who will line up for hours for gas? Poor planning? Fear? Lack of common sense?

Look, there’s evidently not a shortage because the tankers keep coming in and refilling the stations, so it must be the anxiety that is causing people to fill up when they don’t need it, or when they’re down a quarter of a tank.

I’ve got an obnoxious commute, and pass a bunch of stations on the way to work. If one doesn’t have gas in the morning, it usually has gas in the afternoon. And that’s just inside the perimeter, and then just outside it. I’ll bet the prices would go down if people laid off the crazy behavior.

Why I can’t get work done…

Pet me! NOW!!!

click pics for bigness!

Paul Newman died…

That makes me sad.

I always felt like the odd woman out when everyone was gushing over Robert Redford and I liked Paul Newman.

Here they are back in the day. You decide, but I’m sticking by Newman.

Robert Redford and Paul Newman.

where in the world are you, John Ringo?

So this morning I was listening to the Daily Breakfast as I worked, and something that Fr. Roderick said in the episode’s post-production had me thinking about a period in my life when I was heavily into (um, perhaps that period has not ended) science-fiction, and I was thinking about some nerdy friends that I had way back then.

They were BOYS. Oh my. Because really, none of the girls I knew liked science-fiction, they were too busy liking BOYS. Riiiiight.

I often tell young ladies to marry a nerd—they make good husbands and make good livings.

As I was saying, I was reminiscing joyfully about some of those guys, and I remembered two—John Webber, who sat at my table during math class, and we spent more time drawing and creating ‘zine-like scenarios for Space:1999 than perhaps paying attention to the algebra concepts, and another guy, John Ringo, who was in my grade but not in my class. I kinda liked John Ringo. He had a lot of redeeming qualities. He had a great vocabulary and he was taller than me. That was very important in the 8th grade.

We ended up going on a date or two, and then, who knows—adolescence. I remember Pizza Hut, and some godawful school dance where no one danced. I suspect we could have waltzed. He probably knew how. Ha!

Anyway, that was the night that my brother stood on his bed with binoculars and watched John and his sister and brother-in-law (our ride and chaperones) drive up to get me. I think we went to a movie on another occasion. Ha, again!

That is all. I thought I’d share. I mean, it was clearly destiny that I should marry a guy named John. He was a nerd. And he’s a good husband. And he has a good job.

***

There’s a science-fiction writer named John Ringo, but I’m not going to do the creepy facebook stalking thing. I mean, for what? I can’t say I’m all that interested in resuscitating anything from my school days (they were good enough—just not into the whole re-living the past thing), but here’s hoping he turned out well.

It’s chilly today!

I’m wearing a lovely cashmere sweater for today’s interminable meetings.

I love the fall. Yay!

How I love to ruffle feathers!

So I posted the body of an email forward below. Understand that I have no regard for email forwards and spend endless hours debunking the ridiculous claims found in them. This one was an entertaining pipe dream, similar to when the lottery gets up $285 million and I sit around figuring out how I am going to distribute the millions to my family and friends (hmmmm, are YOU on my list?).

Anyway, I love comment love (what blogger doesn’t) but it seems that a few people either a) took this seriously, or worse, b) think that I took it seriously. Take a moment to check out that I posted it under the category “fun” as in, I think this would be fun, but I know it’s not real.

Now please, get a sense of humor.

my dad sent this to me; yes he of the multitude of forwards

I had to share. I mean, really, food for thought:

I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.
 
Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in
a We Deserve It Dividend.
 
To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.  Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..
 
So divide 200 million adults 18+  into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.
 
My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.
 
Of course, it would NOT be tax free.  So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.  Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.
 
But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.  A husband and wife has $595,000.00.
 
What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

• Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
• Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
• Put away money for college – it’ll be there
• Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
• Buy a new car – create jobs
• Invest in the market – capital drives growth
• Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves
• Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else 
   

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+  including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed
Forces.
 
If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead oftrickling out a puny $1000.00 ( “vote buy” ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.
 
If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!
 
As for AIG – liquidate it.

Sell off its parts.

Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.

Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.
 
Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t.
 
Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.” But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!
 
How do you spell Economic Boom?
 
I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.
 
And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
 
Ahhh…I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Birk
T. J. Birkenmeier, A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

BUSTED!

Did no one recognize the typo in my blog title below?

Thanks. Now I had to get sarcasm from Greg.